Hold Me

Happy Holidays!

I felt like such a kid earlier this month when I was making my Christmas list.  Until I realized that per my list, I am actually a geriatric.  I asked for orthodic athletic shoes since I had plantar fasciitis this year, a sun hat, lest the sun harm my alabaster skin, high waisted work out pants because love handles, and a car seat.  I'm 100 but with babies.

LOTS of QT with this two this week.

I've never understood why people say they get so stressed out about the holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas.  For me, it's the week after Christmas when there is no school for your kids that is truly a scary time of year. 

In an interesting turn of events, Katie is now the hilarious easy child while Jack has developed a second personality that, quite frankly, is an asshole.  I think I'm allowed to call me own child an asshole, right?  He also basically didn't give a shit about Santa during the whole entire month of December and now calls out for him to come back all day, presumably to make me feel bad.  At least he's still sweet half the time.

Katie started waking up at 5:30AM this week, Jack won't go to sleep until 9:00PM, and we have nothing to do all day.  My bloodstream still consists of 50% white wine and 50% pimento cheese from the holidays, so I'm fresh out of steam.  I did attempt my first post Christmas workout yesterday and I think at least a gallon of straight Sauvy B came out of my pores.  It's going to be a long week folks. 

Last night I got so excited about this fortuitous dwarfing of my wine cup in the dishwasher.  Now I can funnel it right down my throat...Send help.

But next week/2017 is when I dominate life.  Hopefully.  I'm 100% never having another child and I didn't have a baby that year so I'll be fresh out of excuses not to be a dime piece.  Until then, instead of finding $20 bills from last year in my coat pockets, I'm finding year old snotty tissues from my kids, which is a fitting metaphor for life now.

I hope the kids' teachers aren't alarmed when I run and jump into their arms next week when school starts again.