Happy VDay Hoes

Happy Valentine's Day.

You know what will make your special lady love you forever?

Not getting her a pulsating necklace.

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Have you seen this ridiculousness on TV recently?  

Diamonds in Rhythm TM, Shimmering Diamonds that Follow Your Every Move

AKA, they pulsate.  When your Valentine's Day jewelry comes with a video demonstration, you know it's going to be all class all the way.

Here's a list of characteristics I never wanted in jewelry:

1) For it to follow my every move.

Well, looks like that's the whole list!  I'd rather have a $10 box of chocolates that just sits still until I eat it, than a $800 vibrating, Rose Gold, heart-shaped, 3/8 carat novelty necklace that looks like it'd give you vertigo.  I wonder if batteries are required.

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Love might be in the air, but it is not in that box from Kay Jewelers.  Trust me fellas.