Baby Bangs

Have you recently given birth to a baby girl that you think is perfect, but that others think is a boy?

 

OR

 

As the author is this article asks, "Have you recently given birth to a baby girl, only to find that she is a bulbous, hairless, 8-pound elderly man?"

 

Then we've got the solution for you:

 

BABY BANGS - "The infant beauty product for the girl who has everything—except hair!"

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Now, instead of being gender questionable, your baby can be a creepy water nymph with grandma hair.  Winning!

 

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"There’s just one thing that Baby Bangs! can’t resolve: “We do not recommend leaving baby bangs … on any child while sleeping,” the company FAQ reads. The second your baby closes her eyes, she reverts back to bald man. Night night, ugly baby."

Rainbow Side Boob

I am the first one to admit that I'm not a style maven, but in all seriousness, WTF:

 

 

 

This is like a scene from a bad 80's porn.  But I saw it today, on the World Wide Web.  So it's real.  And it's present. 

 

There's nothing that says "Summer Day" like trapsing around a wheat field, showing copious amounts of side boob, with a rainbow colored bathing suit that is cut so high that there is no doubt your hoo-ha hanging out the front.  Summer 2K13!

Whoooo Whoooo

Before I got Rosie, I read a book about her breed.  It taught me lots of great things about her teeth, her heart, her demeanor, etc.

 

What it didn't tell me about was what to do when your King Charles Spaniel gets in a barking match with an owl at 3:45 AM.  I could have really used that chapter last night. 

 

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This was after she already woke us up at 11:45, 1:30, and 2:00 barking for no reason.  It went on about every 30 minutes for the entirety of the night.  Until the morning light came through the windows. 

 

(I'm sure the owl had no idea it was participating in ruining my REM cycle, poor guy).

 

That's when she started barking again for no apparent reason that I could tell.  The owl had said it's goodbyes.  The weather was calm.  There was nary a noise to be heard.

 

It wasn't until I got up and she was STILL barking that I realized what her problem was this time.  She had found her reflection.  And, unlike most people who have met Rosie's adorable little face, she was NOT a fan.

 

Needless to say, I got a super crappy night's sleep and I'm now hung over on Rosie and lack of sleep.  She's really lucky her face is so damn cute, but sometimes I think if it wasn't, I might have to kill her.

 

 

That seems reasonable...

Royal Baby and Subsequent Ridiculousness

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I am so excited for Kate and Wills.  But I have to be honest with you.  I also feel a little sorry for the poor lassie!

 

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Can you imagine being scrutinized and analyzed that much after birthing a human from your nether regions? 

 

Here are just a few of the most ridiculous and non-important headlines I've seen relating to yesterday's birth of the royal heir:

 

At 8lb 6oz, the Royal baby is the heaviest future king in 100 years

 

So did the full moon send Kate into labour? Old Wives' Tale proven in the timing of Royal baby delivery

 

Why the Middletons (and NOT the Windsors) will make Wills a great father

 

'It's a black boy': Excruciating moment tourist leaves Sky presenter Kay Burley in stunned silence with tasteless joke about the royal baby

 

Meet Team Kate: From the vicar's daughter to the karaoke addict, the aides who were there for the birth

I think you get the idea.

 

 The only thing about this situation that does not evoke my pity is the fact that she has a Royal Hairdresser coming to her room to fix her up before her big debut with the baby.  All women should get that luxury after enduring the birthing process.  Perhaps we should vote on a bill for that in the next election, ladies??

 

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Joseph Joseph Kitchen Tools

These kitchen tools are da bomb.

 

 

My mom got them for me from Costco, and they have since rendered all other cooking utensils obsolete.  Besides tongs.  I got to have my tongs.

 

They are cute, clean cut, colorful, perfect for any cooking activity you can do, and also have a nice little weighted handle bar to rest on pots.

 

If you are a member of Costco, buy these.  It won't be a regretful impulse decision like that 60 pound bag of Easy Mac you bought in the past.  These, you will love everyday.

 

Thanks mom!  Thanks Costco!

No Fun 4 Mya

Poor Mya.  Can you imagine the ridicule she must get around town for this?

 

 

 

Not just because the truck says, "Mya's Pa-Paul and Grammy", but also, and mainly, because FUN-4-2 is a lingerie store in Charleston.  I looked it up.

 

That just seems really, really wrong to advertise your passion for your granddaughter and your lingerie store on one vehicle back.

 

Ew.

That's What She Said

"Penis-Shaped Strawberry Grown By Carole Collen Is Not As Big As She'd Like "

 

This story is perfectly fitting for summertime, and for people who have the maturity level of a 2nd grader.  Both seasonal, and topical, if you will.

 

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Whether it's a house, a hug, a heel, or a penis shaped strawberry, to some ladies, size DOES matter.

 

Meet Carole Colleen, the grower of the World's Most Phallic Strawberry.

 

"The 52-year-old mom was fascinated by the penis strawberry, but not necessarily impressed."

 

Oh SNAP!

 

“It’s funny how a strawberry can grow like that, but I must admit, I did think it was a bit on the small side...not much to boast about," she said, the Sun reported. "It would be nice if it grew a bit bigger.”

 

Tee he he :)  No she didn't.

Sassy Slings

Remember when I reported a few days ago about Mariah Carey injuring her shoulder making a music video?

 

Well, in true  Mariah fashion, she is now dressing up her injured shoulder in the most absolutely fabulous arm slings money can buy.

 

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I die.

 

Seriously, how can you not adore this woman's unabashed embrace of the ridiculous? 

The correct answer is: You can't!

 

I was very proud and tickled that 4 different people sent me this article yesterday about her bedazzled slings.  I guess when you have a public love for Mariah Carey, people want to spread the good word of her crazy. 

Grilled Chicken Salad with Feta, Fresh Corn, and Blueberries

Looking for a strange, but surprisingly delicious new chicken salad recipe?

 

Look no further!  If you are like me and you are being forced to watch Pioneer Woman in the 5 o'clock hour because the Food Network unjustly fired Paula Deen, then you might have already seen this. 

 

Grilled Chicken Salad with Feta, Fresh Corn, and Blueberries

 

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I thought the flavors sounded weird together.  And after reading the comments on this recipe, I realized I am not alone!  But trust me, it works somehow.  I don't even love dill and I usually hate fruits in my salads, but this looked too beautiful not to at least try.

 

The only modifications I made were to omit celery, because I hate it, and to just add light sour cream instead of the entire mayo, sour cream, half and half dressing.  I was just trying to cut out some calories.  The result was a tangy, thick chicken salad that went great on a sandwich or a plate.

 

I can't wait to make this again.  I always buy blueberries and corn at the Farmers Market and I always have feta, so I see lots more of this recipe in my future!  Sometimes cooking outside of the box reaps some seriously yummy rewards!

 

Ice Cream Sundays - Pina Colada

I wanted to love it.  I really did.  But I just didn't. 

 

I have a pretty well documented love of all things Pina Colada.  When I got the heads up that this Limited Batch flavor was hitting stores, via my Ben and Jerry's Chunkmail, I practically ran to the store to pick up a pint.

 

I grabbed my spoon, dug in, and...immediately developed sad face.

 

It just wasn't special.  It wasn't really sweet or coconut.y  There were no interesting chunks.  And most importantly, it didn't make me feel like I was in the tropics.

 

All in all, not recommended by DivaSaysWhat.com.  It was bound to happen eventually.

Summary:

Flavors Tried - 43

Favorite Flavors  - Chocolate Peppermint Crunch!

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Rethink this

I saw this on the way down Market Street yesterday.

 

 

 

 

A for effort.  C+ for execution.  F- for safety.

 

I don't know if he was dropping off his recycling, or picking up someone else's to maybe sell.  Regardless, I bet in this case Mother Nature would be like, "Nah, it's ok.  Just throw this batch in the trash."

E.A.T. Tomato Salad

If you love tomatoes, you will just die for this recipe.

 

If you think you don't love tomatoes, you will after you taste this dressing.

 

The best, and most simple tomato salad I've ever had the pleasure of meeting -

 

E.A.T. Tomato Salad,

from Eli Zabar by way of the Barefoot Contessa.

 

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The tomatoes and dressing were phenomenal on their own, but since the recipe called for pancetta, I couldn't just leave it out!  I did add bacon, however, because that's what I had on hand.  I also subbed the sherry vinegar for white vinegar, but that's all I had.  I would bet my tomato crop that this would be amazing with any vinegar really, so just use what you have!

 

The only part of this recipe that was not awesome was when it hit the part of my lip that I bit during brunch on Sunday.  Vinegar + Dijon Mustard + a mouth hurt = Extreme Pain.

 

Don't you just love a basic recipe like this that uses only a handful of ingredients, most of which I always have on hand?  I do!  I will probably make this 50 more times this summer, with and without the pancetta.  It was just that good. 

 

Try it this weekend or bring a huge batch for a pot luck dinner.  Tomato lovers and naysayers alike will fall in love with the fresh summer goodness.

Mimi got a boo boo

Ruh-Roh

 

Mariah Carey hospitalized for shoulder injury

 

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The only thing more surprising than Mariah Carey sustaining what sounds to a layman like a sports injury, is the fact that people are still making music videos.  Why?  Where do these videos get played?

 

I actually saw a music video on MTV recently, and I almost fell off the elliptical.  But it was at 10am on a Thursday morning, and the video was "Yeah", by Usher, circa 2008, so it wasn't like I had really untapped a legitimate source.

 

This general disappearance of music video really makes me kind of sad.  I used to come home everyday from school and watch my beloved Carson Daly count town the top 10 videos of the day on TRL.  I can't believe today's youth has to live without that sort of visual stimuli.  Heaven forbid they have to go outside and play instead!

 

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And just for good measure:

 

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Lil Sexy Wordsmith

Yesterday I got an invitation to play Words With Friends from someone with the WWF handle "lil sexy bitch".  Naturally, I accepted.

 

 

 

So now every time she makes a move I get a notification that pops up that says "Your Move with lil sexy bitch!". 

 

 

 

As long as this never pops up while my phone is unattended or in front of anyone whose respect I need at all, then this is going to be a really fun game of Words With Friends. 

 

Also, mad props lil sexy bitch for coming out hot with the word "lotion" on your first play. 

0.0

I saw a sticker yesterday that looked like this:

 



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And it made me go like this:

 

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I don't know if you remember my rant in this post, but I'm not wild about those 13.1 and 26.2 stickers.  It's basically a blaring advertisement to me that says, "We will never be friends."

 

Thanks Mr. 0.0 for making me giggle and hoping that one day we can be friends.

Now Everyone Probably Is Hanging Out Without Me

I left my book at the Doctor's office last Friday.  I called when I realized I'd left it and left a message.  I assumed they'd have it sitting right up front for me.  NBD.

 

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Well I went to retrieve it this morning and it was no where to be found.  One girl behind the front desk said she saw it in the patient room so we checked in there.  No dice.

 

She said, "It was that book about 'Why Won't People Hang Out With Me?' or 'Nobody Wants Me to Hang Out With Them' or something like that right?"

 

I said, "Right!" Excited that we were getting warmer.

 

No one could find it.  I left empty handed.  Boo hoo, whatever. 

 

Then it hit me in the car ride to work: OMG.  She probably doesn't know who Mindy Kaling is and she thinks I am reading the saddest, most desperately titled self-help book ever.  I won't go into stereotypical detail, but trust me, this was not the type of woman who watched The Office and The Mindy Project.  I'm 99% sure she didn't know this was a mindless book of humorous essays.

 

So that was fun.  Now I'm bookless and embarrassed.  Any good book recommendations?  Preferably something new and exciting, but just old enough to be available in hardback??

Stuffed 8 Ball Zucchini

Recently Grant and I have been semi-obsessed with the Farmer's Market downtown.  It's not that big, but the vendors are really nice and there are some great produce and products.  But what I love most about it is buying random vegetables and letting them inspiring my meals, instead of planning everything out on Sundays based around a chicken breast or whatever.  

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On Saturday I saw these cute little 8 Ball Zucchini and had to have them.  Have you ever seen these before?  I hadn't.  But the farmer selling them said the best way to eat them was to stuff them and place a piece of Monterrey Jack cheese on top.  He was very specific about the Monterrey Jack cheese!  So I followed his orders and was so pleased I did.

 

Here's what I used to make the stuffed 8 Ball Zucchini.  Besides the jarred goods it's all either from the Farmer's Market or our garden.  That just warms my soul.

 



 

Another big part of my inspiration was this chorizo from a local meat guy.  This was my first meat in multiple links experience.  How's that for authentic? 

 

 

The recipe was really simple.

 

Ingredients:

4 8-ball Zucchini

1 onion chopped

1 bell pepper chopped

1 garlic clove minced

1 cup of cooked rice

1 lb. of ground meat of your choice

1/2 cup chopped tomatoes

1/2 tomato sauce

Salt and Pepper

Seasoning for meat

Monterrey Jack cheese for topping

 

Directions:

1. Saute onion in olive oil for about 5 minutes.

 

2. Add garlic clove and cook for 30 seconds.  Add salt and pepper.

 

3. Add chorizo or meat of your choice, out of casing, with any meat seasoning you love, and brown for about 5 minutes.

 

4. Add bell pepper and cook everything together until meat is well browned and vegetables are softened.

 

5. Add this meat mixture to a ball with rice, tomatoes, and tomato sauce.

 

6. Slice zucchini in half and hollow out with a spoon.  This was way easier than expected.  Nothing like the horror of cutting through a spaghetti squash. 

 

7. Stuff zucchini and bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.

 

8. After 15 minutes add Monterrey Jack cheese (I added 1 and a half thin slices per zucc).  Bake for an additional 10-15 minutes or until cheese is well melted.

 

Then you get this:



I was so happy we got a small zucchini too so that those little side cars could be used for lunch!

Then you know you gotsta broil those babies for about 1-2 minutes on high for a nice cheesy crust!

Broiled and beautiful

 

I served the stuffed zucchini with a corn, squash, and zucchini skillet fried situation that Grant made.  It doesn't look like a lot of food but there is cheese and chorizo involved in the stuffed zucchini and plenty of butter in the side vegetables, so trust me, it was plenty hearty.

 



 

I also tried to take a picture of the inside.  Since I'm so tech savvy I first accidentally took a beautiful picture of myself.  This is my look in all accidental "selfies" when my camera somehow goes into turn around mode:  Terrified of what I see and full of chins.

AAAH

 

 And then, naturally, I accidentally took a video of the food.

 

 

 

And then, finally, I got a picture of the inside.  My favorite thing about this zucchini is that it is a perfect texture.  Soft yet with enough crunch to give a nice bite.  I don't like food that is too soft or soggy.

 



 

My trust assistant was plum tuckered out by the end of this meal.  Although she stood by my side despite her fatigue.  She's just great like that.

 



 

You know what my favorite part about cooking is?  Besides grocery shopping, experimenting, having delicious food, and retaining my husband's love?

It's the cheesy bits left on pans after they've been baked in the oven.  It's like a bonus cheese wafer for the chef!

Looks gross.  Tastes great.

 

 

 So there you have it.  Farmer's Market inspiration and a delicious meal with lots of vegetables.  Stay tuned for more Farmer's Market delights!

The Case of the Beer

Sometimes at Harris Teeter you can get a case of beer for the same price as an 18-pack. 

 

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It really doesn't make sense to me.  Why would anyone buy 18 beers when they could get 6 more for the same price?  The only possible scenarios I can think of when this would be ideal is if you yourself don't drink and what zero leftovers, but are hosting a party and buying beer and either:

 

A) You are inviting exactly 9 people and allotting them each 2 beers.  Which does not sound like a very fun party.

B) You are inviting 6 people and each of them get 3 beers.  Still sounds lame, and now there are so few people the odds of anything crazy happening are almost nil.

C) You are inviting exactly 2 people and allotting them 9 beers each.  In which case, now we are talking, but who has a party with 3 people?

 

But in any of those scenarios it sounds like you and your friends plan too much.   In which case I would probably love you because I love planning things to a T and hate leftover anything.  Nonetheless, we all probably need to lighten up about this whole situation and just buy the extra 6 beers, people!!

 

Perhaps I've over thought this.  It just doesn't even make sense to me to have this nonsensical offering available at the store.

 

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That all being said, cases of Bud Light at Harris Teeter are currently $13.99.  (So are 18-packs but by now you know my thoughts on that.)  Go load up for the 4th.  Also, click here to get a $5 coupon for Fresh Market to buy your 4th of July feast!

 

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