Zing

A friend send this to me recently and I just couldn't have said it better myself.

 

A Day No Eyes Would Roll

In shocking news, I did not win the Powerball last night.

 

I bought my first ticket ever and seriously thought I was going to win, because I deserved it.  No really, that's what I said to Grant last night and he told me my odds were not good, in between eye rolls.

 

I also got an eye roll from the BP attendant when I asked for a Power "bowl" ticket and said, "This is my first time."  What?  I'm a gambling virgin.  I was in the Dominican Republic once and I cashed $20 into coins to play the slots.  I put in one coin, lost $0.25 and changed all my coins back in to cash.  I did not like losing money.  And I've never gambled since.  Until last night!

 

When I was buying the ticket a guy behind me asked me what I would do with it if I won.  I enthusiastically said, "Put it into to savings!"

 

I thought he was going to smack me.  He said that was the dullest response he'd ever heard.

 

Not even one matching number.

 

 

But it got me thinking what I would do if I won.

 

First, I really would put most of it in savings.  I heart financial security.

 

Second, I would give all of my blog followers $10 as promised last night.  Which you would know if you follow me on Facebook.  Which apparently no one does because I didn't get any more followers. 

 

Then I would probably get some sort of facial treatment to even out my skin.  Then I'd hire someone to repaint my neon yellow kitchen.

 

Then I would just go to bed and wake up for work the next day.  I mean, I'm sure I'd online shop once I got there for some Kate Spade purses and Frye boots that I would NEVER pay full price for without my lottery millions.  But after that I'd probably just sit back and watch my interest grow. 

 

It's nice to already have a lot of the things you already want.  And it's even nicer to not obsessively feel the need to have it all.  And by staying at my job and in my modest house I'd break the curse of the lottery ruining your life and I'd stay "true to myself" despite being rich as hell.

 

 But I didn't win so it doesn't matter.  But it's always nice to have a plan in place in case of sudden financial greatness.

Barbie's Secret to Success

Oh 1960's Barbie.  This is rich.  Barbie's Secret to Dieting.

To learn the secrets read this article.  Then buy a scale that doesn't go over 110 pounds.

 



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Bitch please.



The best part of this story is not just that they remade the version to include a diet book with one simple rule: Stop Eating.  It's that they renamed her to Barbie Sleepytime Gal.  That sounds like a direct English translation I saw in Buenos Aires once, Big Sexy Jeans.

 

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Never gonna happen!

 

Now we know the secrets to Barbie's ageless beauty.  Don't eat!  Never weigh over 110 pounds, and a tight weave!  That seems really realistic and healthy.

 

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Sittin' Pretty

Cyber Monday = Embarrassingly Full "mailbox" Wednesday

 

 

 

Wow that was fast shipping.  I am now the proud owner of 4 new counter stools in my kitchen that I got over $100 off with deals.  All I need is some hungry patrons at my kitchen counter and I'll be getting my money's worth in no time.

Are you my papa?

Speaking of fruit, sometimes it's hard to believe some of them are even related.

 

 

 

What a difference a few days can make!

Ode to Clementine

It used to make me really mad that clementines only come in boxes of 30. Who has enough hunger or time to eat that many clementines before they go bad? And why do they have to package them in those irresistible wooden boxes with all the perky little orange fruits staring at you, "Take me home! I'm adorable!"

 

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 They were actually following me at the Fresh Market last night!

 

 I fell for that box just last Saturday. But this time, the box will not beat me. I gave half to my dad, 2 per day to my husband, and I'm personally taking down at least 2 a day as well. I will dominate this box of clementines before they go bad. Mark my words!

The only thing I can see getting in my way is this Friday. AKA, the day that Grant brings all the fruit BACK home that he didn't eat during the week. Dude, just throw it away at work! I would never know you didn't eat it. I wouldn't be concerned about your vitamin levels. And, more importantly, who wants a black banana!? Throw. It. Away.

This message is brought to you by my Vitamin C level, which is currently on fire!

 

 

Cyber Tuesday

I was just online contemplating some decorative knobs when I came across a most awesome review.

 

I can't quite explain why, but his clarification really did make me feel more secure about my purchase.  Sure, we all want the approval of a gay man.  They are, after all, the experts on all things interior.  But sometimes we just want a straight man to think we are doing something cool or have good taste.

 

Let's hope that this straight woman likes the knobs as much as that straight guy.  He must have really loved them to leave a review.  Sometimes I can't even get a guy to say, "I loved the spaghetti" and he doesn't even have to leave the room or login to do that! 

Your Life

Have you seen the ridiciulousness that is Salt Life in your city?  In Wilmington it's everywhere!

 

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We get it.  You're here.  You're Salty.  And you're a dork. 

Salt life dude!

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I saw this sticker on the way to Florida last week and it's much more my speed.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again: You do not need to express your world views and life's greatest passions on the back of your car.  Save it for real life conversations and Facebook statuses.  Oh wait, no, that crap is equally as annoying on facebook.  I'm happy that your team won its sport and I am sorry that your candidate lost, but I do not need to see that shit online.

Ice Cream Sundays - Berry Voluntary

 

I didn't think I was going to like this flavor.  I'm just not a fan of any fruit that isn't just plain fruit.  Unless it's a smoothie.  But this was definitely the exception. 

 

The cheesecake aspect of the ice cream makes the flavor so rich and creamy and luxurious.  And I will never say no to a white chocolate chunk.  Why is white chocolate so underrated?  I love it so.

 

This flavor was truly spectacular on its on.  And as I alluded to last week, it paired beautifully with Chocolate Therapy.  Cheesecake + Raspberry + Chocolate = Hell Yes!  I will definitely be buying this flavor again!  I'm a non-fruit frut convert.

 

 

Summary:

 

Flavors Tried - 35

 

Favorite Flavor - I have decided it's a tie between Creme Brulee and What a Cluster.  They are both so amazing but so different.  I can't pick just one.

Gobble Gobble

Happy Turkey Day everyone!!



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How are you are celebrating this year?  And where are you giving thanks?

 

I'm in the great state of Florida.  Jacksonville to be precise, spending time with some of my extended family that I do not get to see nearly enough.

 

I am sure we will be stuffing our faces, laughing our asses off, and maybe, just maybe, drinking some wine together. 

 

This year I am thankful for everything.  My friends, family, husband, and health.  But mostly I'm thankful that I just received this email in my inbox and will get to watch this the day I return home.

 

As you can see the next 3 movies in our queue belong to Grant.  Our cinematic tastes are just slightly different.

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

T&C Part 3

In anticipation of Thanksgiving and turkey overload, I'm kind of at a loss for words so far this week.  But not a loss for pictures.  Here are few more scenes from the trip:

 

Express Yourself!

 

Beautiful, huge group of flamingos.  So pink, so funny looking!

 

More fresh seafood.  Excellent presentation.  Sub par seasoning.

 

Just a little scene we stumbled onto...that we totally created

 

Wouldn't that be just adorable in a sun room!?

 

This is my first sushi boat ever.  Usually you have to order a ton of rolls to get one.  Not at Yoshi Sushi.  They also give you iPads for menus.  A little extravagant but I'll take it!

Ice Cream Sundays - Chocolate Therapy

After reading the name and description of this flavor I was sure it was going to be too rich and too decadent.  Surprisingly, it was not!  I think the presence of the chocolate pudding ice cream swirls really helped mellow it out.  And it's chocolatey and amazingy so I can't complain! 

 

This is going to sound fat, even for the person who is intentionally eating over 47 flavors of ice cream for no reason, but this flavor was especially good mixed with next week's flavor, Berry Voluntary.  You know, because one flavor of ice cream at a time isn't enough?  Right?  Right!

 

Summary:

 

Flavors Tried - 34

 

Favorite Flavor - What a Cluster

Turks and Caicos - Fishing and More

I mentioned yesterday that we stayed at the Ocean Club Resort at Grace Bay.  It was one of the older resorts and, as we found out later, the furthest most resort from everything else.  It was no big deal because there was a shuttle in to town, but we didn't take advantage of that until the 3rd day.  AKA, the day we couldn't walk anymore.  More on that later.

 

Back to the accommodations:

 

Our room was basically a studio apartment.  It was nice because we were able to buy groceries and save a lot of money on breakfasts and lunches by eating in house.  And I do mean A LOT of money.  A case of beer in this town was $60-$70USD!!!!!  A freaking tuna sandwich was $10.

 

Our room rate was totally reasonable though.  PLUS I got 20% off of our nightly rate by mentioning a Trip Advisor advertisement I saw.  Budget Diva says What?!

 

I also put a deposit for almost half the amount down back in May so when we checked out it was basically like free money.  JK, but it wasn't bad at all.

 

The kitchen.  Where many a condiment-less sandwich was made for lunch.

 

The immediately adjacent bedroom.  Very comfy bed...

I spy some snorkels from the days of my childhood.  Best hand-me-down ever!

 

Conchs are all the rage in the Turks and Caicos.  After I took this picture a guy chased me down and told me I had to pay.  Apparently he was just messing with me, but I got awkward, told him I would pay later, and then
he and Grant had a good laugh at me.  Can't out hustle a hustler.

 

Not pictured was the decorative conch that was in our bedroom.  On the second to last day Grant picked it up to see if he could blow in it and make it bellow.  What he found instead was a big ol' bag of weed and rolling papers.  Bonus!  Just kidding, it was really old and crunchy to the touch.  I bet someone was really bummed when they realized they left that behind, maaaaan.

These are the his and hers aqua socks that our next door neighbors left out to dry each night.  How cute?!

This is the human torture device known as the J.Crew beach backpack that I've had since middle school.  It's OK for walking 10 feet to the beach with a towel in it.  Not so much for walking 5 miles in the sand with 2 towels, 2 snorkels, etc.
Turns out leather straps and woven straw don't feel so good on the bare skin of a sun-burned beach traveller.  Also, could it possibly sit any lower on my body?

This was us before Grant's Birthday dinner.  I had a nice long dress I was going to wear but after an epic 5+ mile walk on the beach in my bathing suit, my thighs filed for separation on account of irreconcilable chaffing.  Thank God for pants.

 

Sometimes Grant and I really play it fast and loose with the term "within walking distance".  What seems so easy to get to on the way there sure doesn't feel ask close on the way back.  Luckily we caught some good snorkeling trails on the way and got a little cardio in!

 

I could seriously barely walk the next few days because the original skin on feet had been exfoliated to the point on non-existence, on account of the multi-mile sand expedition.

 

 

 We ate at a most luscious place called Coco Bistro on Grant's Birthday. The ambiance there is top notch with beautifully lit palm trees and an intimate feeling. Also, Sarah Jessica Parker was once spotted there so you know it's got to be Ab Fab!

Luscious Mojito to start

Conch Ceviche Two Ways - Sweet and Savory

Coconut Curry Bone-In Chicken with Tiger Shrimp and Basmati Rice
I loved how a lot of the dishes on the island had an Indian influence.  I heart Indian Food

 

I am definitely going to start cooking more chicken breasts with the bone in and the skin on because this was the most moist, delicious piece of chicken I have ever tasted.

 

Grant's real present was a day of bonefishing.  We went with Silver Deep charters and I can't recommend them enough.  Our guide was funny, knowledgeable, easy going, and had celebrity stories.  What more could you ask for when stuck out on a boat all day!?  (Apparently Will Smith is a great guy.  John Fox isn't a great fisherman but is a generous uncle.  And Keith Richards really does drink vodka at 8am.

It was overcast and windy as a Mo Fo so we were worried we wouldn't have any luck, but luckily we were wrong.  Grant was also really worried that a coconut was going to fall on his head the whole trip, so maybe we worry too much.

 

Nonetheless we caught fish!  7 bonefish and a mixed bag of other lil' guys.

My first catch was a bit of a bleeder so I pulled a diva card and used a towel.

 

The second one I was brave and went for direct contact.  I had also covered up at this point in a shirt because, despite the cloud cover, I always blister like a peach.  #Whitegirlproblems

Fishing was definitely the highlight of the trip.  Grant caught a bunch but wouldn't let me post pictures of him on DSW, so just imagine the happiest brand new 30 year old in all the land holding a big bonefish, and that's what the real pictures look like.  Silly boys and their privacy!

Turks and Caicos - Day 1

This post is going to be very bittersweet to write, as I sit staring out the window at the cold, pouring rain.  But I'll power through the feelings of seasonal depression to share a few memories.

 

We stayed at the Ocean Club Resort at Grace Bay.  It was perfect for us.  Not too expensive, not too fancy, and not too cheesy. 

 

When I say cheesy I am referring to the "Beaches" by Sandals down the road from us that was blaring what appeared to be Now That's What I call Music! Volume 44 on full blast, while passing around watered down drinks, with 4 million kids running around.  We did walk up to the bar there to see if they would "card" us for ordering a drink.  They did not!  And we got free beers. 

 

Like I always say, the only thing better than food and beer is free food and beer! 

 

This was the view of our hotel/resort from the beach.

 

I matched the umbrellas!

 

After taking this picture we walked to the grocery store via the beach before sunset.  Not a bad way to get to the store.  However...Carrying 20 pounds of (sweet Jesus, holy mother expensive!) wine, beer, and bananas back when darkness has suddenly fallen, your North Carolina appropriate sweater is rejecting the 85 degree local temperature, and your grocery bags rip on the bottom is decidedly less exotic.

 

View of the beach cabana/restaurant at our hotel.

 

Thanks for the tips Wise Woman!  This was spotted at Jimmy's Dive Bar in town.

 

Obligatory tourist quote

 

One of quite a few delicious rum punches!  It packed a punch, indeed.

 

Postcard Shot!
I can't get over these umbrellas.  Turquoise + Pink = Paradise
 

Now I really want to go back.  But I'd also just settle for the sun appearing here in Wilmington.  Which it has not since I've been back!

 

 

Birthday Holiday

I just got back from a trip to the Turks and Caicos where we celebrated Grant's 30th Birthday and had a grand ol' time.  It was sunny, relaxing, and glorious.  I'll do a recap post soon.  Hopefully I can upload all my pictures tonight (AKA Wednesday, AKA my only free night of the week until December 18 because of my real estate class). 

 

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Until then I want to leave you with my favorite quote of the trip:

 

"My version of heaven is a giant Strawberry Daiquiri that I get thrown in to and have to drink my way out of."

 

Followed later by this proclamation, as if he had just discovered the nectar of the gods (as opposed to a high fructose, sugar syrup, faux-fruit blend),

"The Daiquiri is definitely the best drink in the world.  Ever."

 

-The Birthday Boy/The Daiquiri's #1 Fan

Wolf

I saw this gem in the window display of a vintage store in downtown Wilmington last weekend. 

This is good for a lot of reasons but mainly because it is always wise to have a giant wolf painted on your genitals.  And it's a totally non-form fitting sack of fabric to boot!  This can ensure that your Milkshake will NOT bring all the boys to the yard.  Stay fashionable and celibate this season!

Pair with a dangly-fur cape and you are set for the brutal hipster winters of downtown Wilmington.

 Winning Wolfing!

 

Ice Cream Sundays - Brownie Chew Gooder

 

This flavor was just delicious.  And I do mean just delicious.  It was a pretty simple flavor combination of vanilla, caramel, and fudge.  And I like all of those things so I liked this ice cream.  It just wasn't anything super special. 

 

But that's OK.  Sometimes when you are bouncing between Irish Cream liqueur ice cream, peanut butter explosions, and the upcoming chocolate mania, it's nice to have a something simple to munch on.  But probably not everyone is in that situation.  And by "probably not everyone" I mean no one.  At least no one in their right mind or in currently in their skinny jeans.  In which case I would only advise buying this one if you are in the mood for something basic, simple, and tasty.

 

 

Summary:

 

Flavors Tried - 33

 

Favorite Flavor - What a Cluster

Dump that

Do you think I should have called the police?  I saw this on the back of a dump truck.

 

 

 

Surely there's a better way to word this.  Surely.

'Tis the season to be stressin'

When I was growing up I got amazing presents from my parents.  I can't stress that enough.  But now that we are older we usually give and receive more simple things for holidays and Birthdays.  And while cash is always appreciated, I don't mind the simplicity of my immediate family holidays because it's pretty low stress as far as gift expectations are concerned. Gift me some gift cards and a few hundy and I am the happiest girl in all of toyland.

 

One time my mom actually said, "Happy Birthday.  Your life is your present." 

 

Needless to say, I've never felt the need or inclination to go Christmas shopping starting in September because I usually only buy about 3 gifts and I do it online.

 

With my in-laws, it's a whole different ballgame.  Gift giving is the name of the game, and my mother in law is always the winner!  It's amazing.  In the two short years that I have been married I have received such Christmas gifts as an iPod, a DSLR camera, a diamond necklace, diamond earrings, and more.  It's like Christmas morning!  And it is on Christmas morning so it's expotentially exciting!

 

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I'm not trying to brag here.  I'm just trying to illustrate that gift giving is now serious business with my new fam and I'm not very good at it!  Did I mention I also have 3 brother in laws?  What does a girl who has never had a brother get guys for Christmas?  And what does a daughter in law give a MIL who gives the best gifts ever and never asks for anything?

 

Seriously, what do I give?!  I did a casual Google search yesterday to see "Top Ten Gifts to Give a Mother in Law".  The results were nothing if not hilariously atrocious.  Please see this list here: Top Ten Tasteful, Gorgeous Gifts for Mother-in-Law.

 

I would seriously LOVE to see the look on her face if I gave her Paris Hilton Body Spray.  Nothing says I love and respect you like bequeathing upon you the gift of Eau de Spoiled Rich Socialite.

 

I would actually be most likely to give her the Wonder Woman apron because she loves to cook, has a good sense of humor, and might actually be Wonder Woman?  But still, not going to cut it.

 

Has anyone out there ever given an amazing gift to a brother or mother or father in law that they can recommend?  I've got 5 presents to buy, less than two months to buy them, and zero ideas.  Help!

 

Rock the Vote...and the accessories

I already cast my vote early last week, but if I'd known this was an option, things might have turned out a little differently.

 

Leadership we can all stand behind

 

Don't forget to exercise your right to vote today!

 

* Thanks to my faithful reader and friend in DC for sending this to me :)

Make Me Over

Exciting news folks:

 

In a matter of days I'm getting a vacation and Diva Says What is getting a long overdue makeover! 

 

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If you visit the page and it looks totally different don't think you are in the wrong place.  You are in the right place with a new face.

 

Stay tuned and let me know if you like it when it goes live.  Thanks for reading!

Ice Cream Sundays - What a Cluster

This week's flavor is legen...what for it...dary!  It fact, it's my new favorite.  Sorry Mint Chocolate Cookie, but you've had a good run.  There's a new sheriff in town.  And that sheriff is a heavenly blend of peanut butter, caramel, and crunch.  Really, what more could you want from an ice cream?

 

The peanut butter ice cream in this flavor tastes more like Reese's Peanut Butter than regular peanut butter, which is a huge bonus in my book!  Reese's are my all time favorite candy, especially the Easter Egg edition. 

 

The Caramel Cluster Pieces in this flavor are to die for.  They are very reminiscent of toffee in flavor and texture.  Win, win.  I can't say that I specifically tasted the marshmallow swirls, but that could be because my mind was partially blown by the heavenly peanut butter explosions in my mouth.  Needless to say, I didn't miss knowing that the marshmallow swirls were present.

 

I think I'm going to stop now, lest you think I've fallen in love with an ice cream.  But hopefully you get the point.  To. Die. For.  The only place I've found this flavor is Target, so look there if you want to try it.  And trust me, you want to try it!

 

Summary:

 

Flavors Tried - 32

 

Favorite Flavor - What a Cluster