Action!

Yesterday was a really interesting day.

There is a film crew that has been on and around my street all week filming a movie with Jennifer Connelly, Greg Kinnear, and Lily Collins, called Writers (working title)...J/k I have no idea what that means.

I went ahead and put links on everyone's name above so you can look them up if you don't know who they are (dad).

I don't have a dog or kid, so aside from going door to door or setting up a lemonade stand in my front yard, I haven't found the best way to meet all of my neighbors.

As it turns out, however, movie sets and celebrities really bring people together. Grant and I have been going on our traditional nightly walks, that started 3 nights ago when the film crew showed up, and we finally met some people last night. Everyone in my neighborhood is totally just walking around with pretend destinations hoping to catch a glimpse of one of the actors. It's kind of sad. And awesome.

Later that night I was preparing for another loathsome paint job when I heard a knock on my door. I got so excited because I just knew that my time had come to get paid $5,000 for a film crew to film a 2 hour scene in my house. But it was my friends stopping by to say hello - Like I said, celebrities really bring people together.

Then even later, I heard another knock, and lo and behold, it was destiny - in the form of a portly bearded man with no less than 50 tattoos. He was prepared to offer us $100 to use our front door outlet. Naturally, I haggled and suggested $500. Naturally, he said hell no. We comprised on a fee of $100.

He then invited me to go across the street and watch the filming, which I of course did immediately. News flash people - It turns out watching people reenact the same boring line 10 times in a row is incredibly boring.

While the extreme boring factor didn't stop my from staying up until 11:30 watching scenes with my 23-year old next door neighbor/new BFF and drinking wine out of a Solo cup, it did take away a little bit of my passion for celebrities. They basically just wait until they hear "Action", repeat a line they didn't even write, and then do it all over again like obedient, albeit damn skinny and attractive, monkeys.

2 Cents About a Penny

Have you ever gone to a store, bought something for $3.99, paid $4.00 and NOT gotten back that missing penny back?

That happened to me this morning. And many other times in the past. Mostly at gas stations.

What is the deal with this? Why is it ok to steal my penny without even talking about it?

I want that one cent back. Please don't make it wierd. Please don't make me ask for it back.

I know it's only a penny, but if this happens to me twice a year for the rest of my life, which I suspect it will, and I live to be 82, that's $1.64 that people I don't even know are robbing me blind of.

Quit bitching about Obamacare and Wall Street people. This is the stuff that really matters!

Root of the Problem

Have you heard of Gray Away? Check it out here.

When I saw this infomercial on TV I was astounded, and not just a little grossed out.

Maybe it's the contrast between gray and brown that reminds me of a skunk? Or maybe it's because all of the subjects in the commercial are schlepping around in depressing sweat pants before they get the call to go out and immediately grab their can of spray paint to cover their roots? That just made me kinda sad.

However, I am a huge fan of the following sequence: 1) Casual banter on the phone about possible going out tonight. 2) A quick look in the mirror, only to discover massive roots showing. 3) Extreme closeup! 4) Look of absolute horror! That's TV directing at it's best.

Wasn't there a time when we were afraid of aerosol cans and not spraying them directly onto our skin?

If you're having that much trouble maintaining a hair color program, either just go au naturale, or set something up with your stylist that is recurring, like auto-refill. If pharmacies have figured it out, I'm sure ol' Tanya 2-year-degree at the local Leon's Beauty Salon can get with the program.

Until then, I'd suggest keeping flammable sprays away from your scalp.

Diveats - Chicken Braised with Red Wine Vinegar and Tomatoes

Last night I made this recipe from Fine Cooking:
Chicken Braised with Red Wine Vinegar and Tomatoes

It was the best recipe I've made all year! And really not that complicated.

I started with the ingredients below.

The recipe instructs you to put the chicken in a bag with flour, salt, and pepper, then shake.

I've never shaken meat up in a bag before... What fun!!

Lightly coating the chicken in flour added so much flavor to the chicken and really thickened up the sauce.

And adding flour, chicken, and cast iron together makes for one smoky combination! My smoke detector went off 2 very loud and annoying times.

It's very sensitive. The first week we had the house I think I set it off at least once a day.

But it was well worth it for the finished product. This was so delicious and rich tasting.

The only modifications I made were that I used chicken breasts instead of thighs, added basil and parsley instead of just basil, and sprinkled parmesan cheese on at the end.

Next time I make it I will only partially drain the tomatoes because I think the sauce could use a tad more liquid. And I will definitely be making this another time.

Please try this! It is such a delicious treat and, when served with garlic bread, combines pretty much all of my favorite flavors. Thanks Fine Cooking for a wonderful dinner!

Random Thought of the Day...

Sometimes, when I am trying to sleep at night and I lean on my side, my arm reminds me of a chicken wing and it makes me feel bad for loving buffalo wings so much.

And then I switch to laying on my back, and it passes.

Mad About Mad Men...

Did you watch the Mad Men season premiere last night? Personally, I thought after making us wait over a year for a new episode, it left a lot to be desired. And where was Betty Draper?!

I did enjoy it though. And in addition to reminding me how sexy Don Draper is, it also reminded why I could never, ever, ever be an actress.

The scene in which his TV wife Megan performs a racy version of "Zou Bisou Bisou" made me so uncomfortable I was embarrassed to even be in the room with myself. I cannot mentally comprehend doing something like that in front of cameras, costars, and the millions of people who watch Mad Men when it decided to show up.

Girls got guts. And also, some major daddy issues. Why does she keep calling Don a "gross old man" and then having savage floor sex with him? It seems like she is trying to compensate for low self-esteem with a high sex-statistics.

Or perhaps I'm over analyzing? As long as Don stays hot who cares what deep-seeded emotional issues his on-screen lovers have! Right!?

To learn more about the song, click here.

In closing, Roger Sterling is amazing. Whoever writes his line has got to be one sassy man or woman. Keep it coming!

Ice Cream Sundays - Peanut Brittle

Yummy yummy in my tummy!

This flavor is mayj, in the words of Rachel Zoe...who I'm pretty sure does not eat ice cream. Salty and Sweet unite in this ice cream to create a creamy crunchy baby that satisfies the every sense of the tongue, without being too rich.

The bits of peanut brittle in here are no joke. It's not just a few whimpy chunks here and there. That stuff is all over the place! Just when you think you've have to much creamy, BAM! here comes a crunch. And then just when you're sick of chewing, the chunks magically disappear and the cool creamy ice cream comes to dominate.

Peanut Brittle has a lot going for it. If it were a woman it'd have curves in all the right places. Highly recommended!

Summary:

Flavors Tried - 20 (Sweet Jesus, that's a lot of ice cream)

Pounds Gained - Indeterminate

Favorite Flavor - Mint Chocolate Cookie

Garden Party

Behold...

The beginning of my secret first garden.

After much digging (Grant did all the hard work), and going to Lowe's every other, if not every single, night, we have the start of what will hopefully be some homegrown farming!

So far all I've planted is two types of lettuce. Is that overeager? I really know nothing about gardening...Perhaps I should've started with cucumbers? Or pre-potted plants?

I just don't know. But I'm hoping for the best! Hopefully I will have some after pictures in about 7 days, when I should be seeing my first sprouts. And then again in approximately 45 days when the lettuce reaches maturity.

Come over soon for some salads...without toppings.

Any gardening tips from fellow subsistence farmers out there? ;)

Family Decals - Disney

You know what is really sad about this siutation?

I bet that those 2 parents spent so much money taking their 5 kids to Disney World that they can't even afford treatment for the degenerative neck condition that they are all suddenly suffering from.

Sober Up

Amazingly, after calling out celebrity news sources for not reporting about important things like the cast of Jersey Shore (which was said in jest, btw), a member of the Jersey Shore house immediately announced that he was going to rehab for alcohol abuse.

If I only I could be clairvoyant about things more life-changing than a bunch of guidos abusing alcohol...

Anyway, Mike "The Situation" checked himself into rehab yesterday for abuse of prescription pills and alcohol. Article here.

While this is in no way surprising, since his "job" is, by definition, to get drunk and act a fool, I am surprised that this A) didn't happen sooner and B) didn't happen to Snooki or Deana first...Bitches can drink!!

Oh and kudos for throwing RX pills into the mix. Way to be unpredictable Mike!

Although the cast just signed on for Season 5 of the reality show, I am pretty sure all recent events spell DOOM for the series. Although "Sitch" is a miserable waste of space who tries to ruin everyone's life, Snooki is arguably the most sensational person to ever grace a television set. No one is going to want to watch a house on TV where the main characters are pregnant and sober. The rest of the gang doesn't provide enough dramz or one-liners to keep this machine going.

Tootaloo guidos! What will they do next?? I know Snooki has her Vet Technician's license to fall back on, but I'm worried about Ronnie and Sammy. Besides being in highly toxic relationships I don't know what they're good at!

Breaking Not News

This morning is all about celebrity news that is confusing and/or in no way actual news.

1) How about Jessica Simpson refusing to reveal when she is actually due? I really, really, really don't understand that. I have seen her on 3 talk shows and she just says "I've got some more time I think."

Maybe I'm naive here, but what is the harm in telling people when you are due...especially when you are clearly already 12-15 months pregnant? What am I missing here? Are celebrities just so entitled that they think pregnancy etiquette doesn't apply to them?

2) When celebrity couples break up, why do gossip magazines and websites show pictures of them "Out Without Her Wedding Ring On" after they have confirmed their split (A la Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli) as if it's breaking news? That is not new information!

That's like me announcing that I got my haircut and then going out in public, indeed, with shorter hair. This is not news people! We already knew that they broke up. Why would he be wearing his wedding ring...unless you are Heidi Klum and Seal and I think they were just toying with our emotions.

Save your news for something important, like when someone from the cast of Jersey Shore gets arrested. Or like when Lindsey Lohan's dad goes back to jail.

Celebrities sure do live in an alternate universe sometimes. Oh well, at least Jessica Simpson makes me life. That's going to be one big baby!

I Confuzed

I saw this ad while I was flipping through the hundreds of pages of ads in In Style magazine.

Just one question:

WTF does Ricki Martin holding a giant tube of lipstick over his head and Nicky Minaj dry humping a motorcycle have to do with beauty?

I know MAC makeup is all about pushing the limit and embracing the over-the-top celebs, but this time they have gone too far.

What woman in her right mind wants to spend $20 on some eyeshadow that will make her resemble a gay Latino pop sensation from the 90's, or a woman, who looks like a man, dressed up as a woman?

Swing and a miss Viva Glam. Swing and a miss.

Ice Cream Sundays - Banana Peanut Butter Greek Frozen Yogurt

It's finally here!

Even though I just went on a very unhealthy vacation, and even though I gained about 8 pounds and swore off most food for the week, I simply could not NOT buy this when I saw it at the grocery store.

Sure it's fattening even though Greek Yogurt isn't. Sure it isn't even part of my 47-flavor experiment.

But you know what it is...is? Creamy and delicious! (And just slightly less fattening than regular ice cream).

I'll get back to my regular tastings next week, but in the meantime, go try this delicious treat. It's realy subtle and creamy and full of yummy banana coolness and peanut butter cameos.

Oh and just a heads up: I heard the other 3 flavors weren't that great and that this one was the best, so don't waste your fat and money on the others. PB&Banana is where's it at!

Family Decals

Somebody call Animal Control. And Hoarders. 'Cuz this is too many cats!

Look at that poor man on the left. He is so outnumbered by women and cats it's ridiculous. No wonder his shorts are so short. He has been robbed of his masculinity and no longer needs shorts long enough to cover up his nuts and berries.

I would die so fast in that house with 6 cats. Physically I'm allergic to them. And mentally I just hate them so, so, so much.

Tardy for the Party

After writing this post about how I used my blanket as a turnakit, I started thinking about how I was really late to a lot of parties. And I don't mean actual parties, because I'm never late! I mean "the party", as in, I'm slow.

For instance, I played with Barbies until I was 13 years old. That doesn't sound that awful on paper, but let's not forget that 13 is only two years away from HIGH SCHOOL. Too late for dolls.

I also wasn't able to dive in a pool until I was about 12. Same goes for breathing while swimming, even in a stroke as simple as freestyle. I subsequently got a 3-foot tall trophy for "Most Improved" when I realized breathing after every other stroke made me less susceptible to drowning/dying, and diving hurt much less than belly flops.

Here's a good time to point out that if you set the bar very low, you can be rewarded with trophies only about 4 years after it's age appropriate.

I clearly had blankets until I was well into my teens, along with an awesome stuffed side kick named Mutsi. He was the best dog in all the land. Until I got married and he got forcibly put in a drawer. :( But as a compromise that I made with no one I purchased an adult blanket from Pottery Barn Kids that is the softest creation to ever touch my skin. A girls got to have a variety of companions!

Out of all that, however, my slowest and most stunting characteristic as a pre-adult was definitely my teeth!

I started this whole life off by grinding the ever-living shit out of my teeth, to the point where they were barely passable as baby Chiclets. Then I grew an extra tooth. Then one of my teeth suddenly turned grey. I want to say that this was from when I ran into my neighbors parked car, but I can't say for certain that it didn't just turn grey overnight.

After making myself fake braces out of gum and key chains for years, I decided I was finally ready to fix my slight underbite and K-9 fangs with real braces. I just needed to finish losing all of my teeth. So I waited. Then I waited somemore. Finally, I turned 15 and my teeth just weren not coming out. Sure, I'd lost a few naturally, but the big guys in the middle of each side just did not want to leave their over-crowded home.

I ended up having to have a lot of them pulled. I can't remember if it was 4 or 8, but I know it was enough that the lifeguard that I was mega obsessed with at the pool asked me if I'd been hit in the mouth with a baseball bat. Just what every 15 year old girl wants to hear from her crush.

When those sons of guns finally grew back I was able to get braces! ...And by that point I was 3 days shy of 16 years old. If I can find that license picture I will post it soon. In addition to wearing my hear in unexplainable Sacajawea braids, I am also the poster child for the most miserable person to ever exist.

I ended up celebrating my 16th Birthday with cuts on every other cm of my mouth, at a fondue restaurant where I couldn't even squeeze a cheese covered square of bread in my mouth. Oh the pain of braces!

I'll tell you another thing - I was CRAZY when I was 16. I think that metal went straight to my head. The combination of a naturally stubborn person, who is 16 and already insecure, plus braces and the sporadic use of alcohol in high school, makes for a very unprepared, unpleasant, borderline psychopath. But we all survived somehow.

I guess since I got my braces off (I still wear my retainers every night by the way...that is what the horror of braces at 16 will do to a girl), I haven't been that physically or emotionally stunted in anyway. But this is, of course, after I gave up on all sports and had no medically necessary reason for more dental work.

But damn if I wasn't tardy to some parties back in the day. I hope my kids are on track for all their crap when they grow up. But if they aren't, I'm sure they'll turn out just fine like I did. And if they have braces when they are 25 or wet the bed until they go to college, at least I can assure them that one day it will all be fun to look back on and laugh.

Face Off

This is a really heartwarming story. http://www.omg-facts.com/view/Facts/21733

This man sued his wife for being ugly. And won!

It sounds pretty heartless, but in his defense, I don't remember anywhere in the traditional vows were you promise to love your spouse through "deceiving plastic surgery and secretly ugly DNA."

But on the real here, how ugly could that baby have been to make the father actually insist on DNA testing. That is not the unconditional love one would hope for from a parent!

* I am assuming that picture online is extremely fake. If not, he should have cross-referenced his baby's genes with animal DNA.

Preach

Family Decals - Holy Grail

Behold: The Holy Grail of Family Decals

My friend sent this to me and it is just WOAH after WOAH after WOAH!

He dubbed it the Holy Grail and he couldn't be more spot on.

Nevermind the seemingly normal family to the bottom left.

Can we please focus on the upper middle DIVA!!!??? I bet the owner of this car wears so many bracelets at the same time.

And if this is an accurate reflection of her life, then she also probably has severe bladder control issues. But my guess is that she just got a really good deal on a package of stickers, because nothing about this family makes sense.

If I am to understand this setup correctly, I figure that would be 3 dads and 3 kids, plus 9 additional kids and 6 babies that they don't like that much. Then some really small pets.

We all know don't Divas don't hate like that, so it can't be so. My guess is a botched BOGO and a Diva who couldn't stop sticking.

So many stickers, so little sense!

Silk Pants and Late Flights

Travelling is so enlightening.

We returned from Aspen late Saturday night to Raleigh. With the combination of an 11pm arrival, a 2.5 hour drive to Wilmington, and Daylight Savings time, we got home at the ripe young hour of 3AM.

I figured we were going to look like Gypsies in the night carrying our bags in the quiet neighborhood. Then I remembered that we have new wildass neighbors that stay up late as hell. They were still awake to great us with their noise.

Back to travelling: I remembered a funny while waiting for our bags to drop on the conveyor belt, where a young boy was sticking his finger on the turnstyles. When I was younger, I went to Bermuda on a family reunion. I was around 10 and/or the age when silk pants from Limited Too were in style...whichever came later.

I was sitting on the conveyor belt waiting for my bag to arrive, when my silk pants got stuck in a crack. I kept moving with the conveyor belt. My pants did not.

Those silk beauties ripped right up the side of one of my legs. Luckily I was carrying my trusty blankie with me (damn, was I still carrying that thing around when I was 10/of silk pants age?), so I was able to fashion a makeshift turnakit to secure my now-high slitted kid pants. That was the last time I ever touched a conveyor belt. Oh, and silk pants. They aren't as forgiving once you pass your 10's.

I also realized this trip that when you're married, the risks of travelling increase by 200%. I used to see my bag arrive on the belt and think, "Screw you, suckas! I got my bag, I'm outta here!" Now I have to think, "Please God let his bag be here too. Or else I'm stuck waiting in line for customer service and the next flight in with him and his bag!"

So to sum up - I'm still adjusting to the new time diff, I no longer wear silk pants, and I'm still kind of selfish but learning to deal now that I'm married.

Ice Cream Sundays - Banana Split

This was a mighty brighty flavor. It had the same concept as the Karamel Sutra ice cream, Strawberry Ice Cream on one half and Banana Ice Cream on the other - Hence the "Split".

I don't know why I continue to be bested by these ice cream names, totally expecting bananas, hot fudge, and ice cream in this case. (Come on Mamacita! When it doubt, the ice cream name is ironic. You know this!)

The fruitiness of these flavors where a surprisingly nice change from some of the other more rich flavors I've been trying. But when it comes down to it, I'm a "richness" girl all the way. I prefer chocolate and peanut butter over fruit chunks. Both in my ice cream and in my life.

Nonetheless, this flavor was very delicious and definitely worth a try! I'd certainly get it again if I was in the mood for fruit ice cream.

Summary:

Flavors Tried - 19

Pounds Gained - 2ish (not just from ice cream, let's be real)

Favorite Flavor - Mint Chocolate Cookie

Pow Pow Ow Ow

Remember that innocent post from yesterday in which I was jazzed to try skiing and thought it would go well? Those were the good ol' days. I wish I could be that young and innocent again, because all did not go as planned.

Unless of course my plan was to have 2 good runs on the easy slopes, then prematurely agree to go have lunch at an elevation of 11,000 feet above sea level, then be forced to make my way down...by ski.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. I'm terrified of heights. I thought I was a little scared of skiing, but compared to heights, I want to give skiing a bug hug and a kiss.

Have you ever heard the expression about "talking someone off a ledge"? My ski buddy actually had to do that to me. It took about 20 minutes just for me to stop crying enough to get my skis on after seeing how high I was. Then about an hour more of sobbing and shaking to get me 1/16 of the way down the mountain.

Once I took my skis off and started walking down the mountain to the nearest building, it sure went a lot faster. During this time (btw, if you are like me and are unfamiliar with ski etiquette, apparently walking down a mountain holding your skis is NOT normal), a ski instructor skied by and asked me if everything was ok. I am sure he was expecting a simple head nod and not my answer, in full tears: "Is there any way to get down this mountain without skiing?" After which he directed me towards the nearby building and told me where to call ski patrol.

I don't think I've ever talked on DSW about the time that I was kidnapped and held at gunpoint, but this was far worse then that. I know that's dramatic and saying a lot, and I mean every word of it. I don't want to pretend to know what it feels like to have a heart attack, but if I had to guess, I think I got pretty close. I know that if I did not take matters into my own hands, my heart could not have sustained that heart rate without killing me.

I think my ski buddy thought I was bluffing, but the hell if I didn't walk right down the rest of that slope, walk inside fighting back tears, and ask ski patrol to take me down by any means possible.

Much to my surprise, I was not taken down the mountain on a ski mobile. Rather, I might have been the first actual non-injured person to descend a mountain, being manually towed by a ski instructor, by what we those in the biz call a toboggan.

If there was a word stronger than embarrassing, insert it here____.

Although I got down the mountain at record speed, I did find it very ironic that the solution the ski patrol has for taking scared skiers down the mountain is to ski them on a sled at 80 mph. But I got down nonetheless and that was all that mattered.

In addition to not being able to cross my legs without picking up with my arms today, I also look like I an Asian who got stung by a bee in each of my eyes from crying. Not, as someone asked me, "because Asians cry a lot," but because my eyes were flying at half-mast, at-best for the entire day.

I smartly decided to end my ski career after one day and spent the next day reading Bossypants by Tina Fey (amazing by the way), while the rest of the crew skied all day long. The only thing regrettable about not skiing when everyone else does is that you can't justify carbo-loading at the nearest pizza joint when you haven't burned 1,000 calories skiing all day long. I'm pretty reading books isn't good cardio, no matter how far above sea level you are.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow when my eyes turn back to Causcasian status, my legs don't feel like logs, and the emotional trauma from my ski episode seems like something that happened to a clumsy idiot in a movie...not to myself.

Vacay!!

Hello there!

As you are reading this post, I am in Aspen, CO attempting to snow ski for the first time in about 15 years. I hope it is going better than the list time I tried. Because that was the time that I ran into a ski instruction while uncontrollably flying down a mountain...and also the time that I got promptly banished to the Bunny Slopes.

At that point I just gave up and made ice sculptures by myself all day until my able-bodied friends had had enough skiing for the day.

Oooh, to be an athlete.

I've already decided that if I am terrible at skiing I am going to spend the rest of my vacation trolling for celebs and hottubing it back at the chalet. Sometimes it pays to suck at all physical activities :)

It's also supposed to be anywhere from 6-40 degrees while I'm there. That is funny only because the average winter day in Wilmington has been about 60 degrees this year. The fact that I am leaving hot for cold only shows my passion for vacays and any place where the beer flows like wine.

Cool Zzz's

Do you want to see my favorite part of the house we bought back in October?

This fan.

After 28 years, I have finally found a fan that doesn't click, doesn't rock, and doesn't make any repetitive noise other than a steady whir of fresh air.

That means I no longer have to live with the option of not sleeping from being too hot versus not sleeping from the mother effing clicking off the fan.

Now I can just not sleep for no reason at all! And now I'll be nice and cool while I lay awake!

Holy Moley

I was just looking up the weather for this weekend in Wilmington.

And I got some bonus information that I most definitely did not want:

HOW TO REMOVE ANY MOLE IN 3 DAYS (Without Surgery)

Why, nay, how is this a real thing?

First of all, there is no way that's physically possible. Second of all, I shutter at the thought of some unknowing moley beast seeing this ad and thinking it's a good idea to take matters into their own hands. The person in that picture looks like she's about to pop that mole right off with her fake red nails. ICK!

That is not a message untrained doctors or THE WEATHER CHANNEL.COM should be sending to people who are just hoping for a sunny weekend. Just when you thought WebMd.com was the worst thing to happen to hypochondriacs since the invention of the World Wide Web, now we've got randomly generated ads telling the masses how to remove their own moles.

Houston, we have a problem!

Don't Ask and Ye Shall Receive

I have a groundbreaking theory to share with you today. It's called "The art of having reasonable expectations."

Yesterday was my Birthday. Due to some previous holidays in which I expected a knight in shining armor or a unique gift...you know, just like the Hope Diamond or something sweet?...I have ended up dissapointed and angry.

This Birthday, I just didn't really think about it. I was hoping for a card and maybe a fun dinner out. And both of those things came true! Not to mention I totally racked up some major Birthday money from my loved ones. I went to sleep yesterday feeling happy, fulfilled, and not crazy for expecting too much and not getting it.

I know I might me setting the women's movement back a few decades, but I think it could revolutionize relationships and prevent countless future Birthday/Valentine's Day/Anniversary heartbreaks. Just don't expect over the top gestures, and you will not be dissapointed.

It is hard to accept, but I have just had to come to grips with the fact that guys do not think like girls do when it comes to gift giving. And, unfortunately, they haven't figured out how to read minds either. Bummer, right? Until that happens, I am going to try to match my expectations to my understanding of the male mind: Keep it simple. Assume it's coming from a good place. And know with all your heart that he'd rather be doing anything else than shopping for a woman.

If we all get on the same page life could go a lot smoother. And Kleenex brand might go out of business. It's improving my life already.

*How awesome is that wine glass pictured above? My bro-in-law/wine-drinking buddy gave it to me for my Birthday. In addition to the candles all around the body of the glass, it says "It's My Birthday" on the base. Beautiful!

How about...

No. Cuz??

Diva Cards

Last year I received this card from my grandparents and thought it was the best card ever.

See that shiny spot on the cat's tiara. There are real sparkles!

But this year the Princess Cat card was bested by this:

And on the inside it reads: "Long May You Rule!"

My mom even put a post-in note on the inside with a Birthday message because she said it was too perfect to write on. Agreed!

If I were in a situation in which I was asked to make my dream card, this would actually be it, verbatim. So you can imagine my delight when it came in the mail, early and carrying Birthday money.

1) Reference to divas!
2) Timeliness
3) Money

Yes please! What more could a Birthday girl ask for?! Now I kind of want to start my own line of Diva-related greeting cards. I can actually see that being hugely successful.

Thanks everyone for the Birthday wishes!