I could never be on The Bachelor.
Not just because I'm not crazy enough. Or because I don't wear enough eye makeup. Or because I don't look good in a bikini.
It's because of the show's excessive use of aircraft. Whether it's hot air balloons, prop planes, helicopters, or commercial aircraft from one exotic location to the next, I would lose my mind with all of that flying!
I hate flying too much for any semblance of love to be worth all of that time in the air. Especially it was spent with a mop-headed doofus who literally could not have selected a worse haircut.
I guess I'll just have to find love the old-fashioned way. On a ferry!
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