Don't Slap It

I got a pedicure last week and noticed the oddest setting on the chair massage remote. FLAP. And also, FLAP & KNEAD.

Now I’m familiar with the traditional Asian-end-of-massage-fist bump- on the back, but I do not think I ever need to be FLAPPED. The sign on the remote is just of a hand. So it’s basically like a bitchslap for the back.

And I did end up trying it. All it does is make you involuntarily shimmy in your chair. Which, if you’re chesty, is not a good thing in front of a crowded salon. I prefer a traditional ­­­­­Rolling button setting. It might make my back/chest rise and fall a foot at a time, but at least it does it slowly so I don't look like a whore jiggling my boobs (ahem, Flap setting).

Don't slap me. And don't flap me.

BTW - Sorry for the poor picture quality, but I assure you that the grainy texture of the picture was worth it to see the mute girl doing my pedicure look at me like I was the craziest person in the world when I tried taking like 15 times.