My Body's Like Woah

This is more of a PSA than anything, so listen up!

I got a full body mole check the other day and, much to my surprise, it was full body.

I don't know why this surprised me so much because the title clearly implies that it will be a thorough search, but I was still not prepared.

It reminded me of the first time I had to get measured by a seamstress to be fitted for a bridesmaid dress. I really don't know how I thought they'd do it, but I did not think it would involve me having to undress. So naturally I wore the world's ugliest underwear and was mortified when the seamstress was measured by Aztec-printed ass.

Ladies beware: When it comes to full body mole checks or full body measurements, they really mean full body.