Beer for Horses, Coke for my co-eds

Because I work at a University, and have to work on the weekends every now and then, I have a lot of opportunities to observe various tailgating styles.

And there is one that has me absolutely perplexed: THE SOBER TAILGATE.

From what I've gathered in my observations, it merely consists of a group of young co-eds eating Doritos, drinking sodas, and NOT imbibing any alcohol.

I just don't see what the point of this is!? Why bother getting together and sitting outside when you could do all that from the privacy of your own couch?

Honestly, it just makes me sad. I sit there watching them knowing that what I see is the most interesting their day is ever going to get.

I like knowing when I am with a group of people drinking and watching football that Silent Samuel is going to real chatty in a few beers. Or that Unsuspecting Ursula is about to say some really appropriate things. And after one more round of beer pong you just know that Tame Tammy is about to take her top off.

That's just good, old fashioned American fun!

Don't get me wrong, I love Doritos and chatting with friends, but I like it much better when I know that there is at least a strong possibility of bar fights, over-honest conversations, and bad decisions later in the night.