It's gonna happen

At what age does it become mandatory to wear sweaters like this, and to have a haircut like this?

I understand that you might want shorter, more manageable hair as you get older so that your cats don't rip out your up-do. But I just see NO excuse for the excessive woven debris on such sweaters.

I would say as a general rule of thumb, your clothes should NOT be 3-dimensional. Stick with that rule and you should be safe during the holidays.